Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
