You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
