something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
