We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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