I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
