my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
