Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
