So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
