Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
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