just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
