I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
