i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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