he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
