my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize