Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
