I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
