Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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