Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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