Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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