Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize