the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
