My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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