so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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