Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
