shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
