therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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