i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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