no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Sorry about my life...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
