ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
