just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
