wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
