No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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