he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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