stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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