Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
