Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
