i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
