Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
