I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
