I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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