I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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