i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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