i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
