adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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