I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
