when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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