It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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