I wish my penis had an off switch
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
