Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
