C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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