we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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