I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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