you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
