I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You can't just leave with hair like that
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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